Mulan is back, with all the charm of a corpse...
Braden White
 |
| Disney© |
For the sake of transparency, even without watching, I would’ve advocated against paying to see Mulan (2020) on principle alone. The trend of Disney remaking their older animated films into drab live-action cash grabs devoid of any shred of passion is a disgusting practice that needs to stop. It allows them to exploit the average consumer in their comfort zone without any real effort on the creative front.
But hey, you gotta hand it to the house of mouse, even in the face of unprecedented global pandemic, they still find a way to take advantage of naive audiences. I know we all hate it when our guaranteed box office behemoth gets thwarted by a measly little flu (figures the only way this movie wouldn’t make a billion dollars would be if every single movie theater in the world shut down). That being said, thirty fucking dollars to watch this at home? It’s the type of anti-consumer bullshit that would only be done by a company so confident in its cult leader level of control over the average moviegoer.
Even without that ridiculous price tag, I would never financially support this obnoxious habit of Disney’s and if you’re a true lover of movies I would encourage you to do the same. There are countless talented people pouring everything they have into creative, fresh, challenging films, which nobody is watching because we’re all giving billions of dollars to have the same shit regurgitated to us but without any of the initial magic. Jungle Book, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Lion King, and now Mulan, it’s genuinely insulting not only that Disney does this, but has been lucratively successful.
If it weren’t for my girlfriend’s family unexpectedly forking over the cash the other night I would never have given this film any thought beyond this. I never would’ve considered the quality of the film itself. Here we are though, and maybe this is the point where I could switch tones and follow the lead of most critics calling it something like, “A flawed but enjoyable retelling”, or “An inspirational tale which lacks depth but makes up for it with dazzling visuals”. That is the road I could take, being grateful for any distraction from our increasingly frightening reality. Yeah, I could, but the truth is Mulan (2020) is as soulless as the corporate entity behind it.
It’s a nice coincidence, that Mulan ended up being thrown straight on a streaming platform because it’s the kind of forgettable background noise you’d come across browsing Netflix on your couch during a slow Sunday afternoon. I feel like the worst thing you can do is push the original out of your mind in an attempt to judge this version on its own merits. This is because without the cartoon’s charm rubbing off due to mental association, the remake is just an apathetic faceplant that fails to muster any emotion or reaction from the audience.
If it weren’t for my girlfriend’s family unexpectedly forking over the cash the other night I would never have given this film any thought beyond this. I never would’ve considered the quality of the film itself. Here we are though, and maybe this is the point where I could switch tones and follow the lead of most critics calling it something like, “A flawed but enjoyable retelling”, or “An inspirational tale which lacks depth but makes up for it with dazzling visuals”. That is the road I could take, being grateful for any distraction from our increasingly frightening reality. Yeah, I could, but the truth is Mulan (2020) is as soulless as the corporate entity behind it.
It’s a nice coincidence, that Mulan ended up being thrown straight on a streaming platform because it’s the kind of forgettable background noise you’d come across browsing Netflix on your couch during a slow Sunday afternoon. I feel like the worst thing you can do is push the original out of your mind in an attempt to judge this version on its own merits. This is because without the cartoon’s charm rubbing off due to mental association, the remake is just an apathetic faceplant that fails to muster any emotion or reaction from the audience.
With this in mind, the movie does do its best to separate itself from its 1998 incarnation, without losing that precious preestablished marketability. In a brave show of artistic direction, the creative team decided to do something different, by removing any hint of romance, music, comedy or talking dragon sidekick. This is a “stirring update” in the same way that cutting off your arm and gouging out your eyes is considered a “fresh look”.
It goes without saying that removing aspects that made the original so fun and memorable would lead to a boring and forgettable adaptation. Although it should be equally obvious that when you remove major pillars, you have to replace them with something. Mulan (2020) must’ve forgotten to do this because the end result is an absolute slog that manages to feel incomplete and rushed despite being half an hour longer than it’s predecessor. The most accurate comparison would be if a bunch of lazy students had to reenact scenes from Mulan (1998) for their film production class project due the next morning.
It goes without saying that removing aspects that made the original so fun and memorable would lead to a boring and forgettable adaptation. Although it should be equally obvious that when you remove major pillars, you have to replace them with something. Mulan (2020) must’ve forgotten to do this because the end result is an absolute slog that manages to feel incomplete and rushed despite being half an hour longer than it’s predecessor. The most accurate comparison would be if a bunch of lazy students had to reenact scenes from Mulan (1998) for their film production class project due the next morning.
Although to be fair, a CGI dragon voiced by the modern-day Eddie Murphy equivalent would look ridiculous and is a far cry from the grounded epic rooted in ancient Chinese history...
Me: “Oh hey, Mulan (2020) what’s that?”
Mulan (2020): “Oh that’s our new antagonist, she’s a cursed witch who has all these cool powers like
Me: “Oh hey, Mulan (2020) what’s that?”
Mulan (2020): “Oh that’s our new antagonist, she’s a cursed witch who has all these cool powers like
transforming into animals.
If there were a single change made which was actually improved the live-action update, it would be the casting. The all-Asian cast for a blockbuster this size is a major step toward dismantling the rampant whitewashing that has always plagued Hollywood. However, I feel this is less the case of Disney using its power for good and more acting out of fear. The financial repercussions of putting a white actor in the role of a Chinese character, in the age of cancel culture is something even a blind man could see coming. This is why it’s aggravating to see people praising Disney for this decision. We shouldn’t be patting a mega-corporation on the back for making an obvious choice. It’d be like if we all started applauding McDonald’s because they decided not to put rat poison in their food.
*exhales
I don’t know, maybe I’m getting too riled up over a kids’ movie. The film industry is just one large cesspool of shady business decisions, what’s the point in complaining about this one. Besides, despite its origins, think about all the little girls who are given an inspiring tale led by a strong badass woman of color that they can relate to. So is it really that terrible that this was made? Is Mulan really all that harmful in the grand scheme of things?
-Yep.
1/10
For more detailed information about casino gaming, check out at|try} the info.ai site over here. The next time through the dealing shoe, now that bet365 vital thing} cards with brief trims had been set up properly, they went on an extended winning streak. As the casino’s racks of $5,000 and $25,000 chips have been being depleted and refilled, telephones rang in the gaming pit. After every round, the dealer there swept up the cards and put them in the shuffler without mixing them by hand.
ReplyDelete